Why, You Dirty Double Crosser… Most days, I walk from my home to the office where I write (or fail to write), and back again. It’s about a mile and a half, and just before my office, I have to cross a main road. There are two ways to do this. There’s a crossing place, but the traffic has priority, so you have to wait for a gap. You rarely have to wait long. Alternatively, there’s a footbridge, but it takes you a little out of your way. Ok, you’re looking baffled. I’ll show you.
I looked at the page for the film Promenade. It says the duration is "2024 minutes". Naturally, I assumed it was a typo and that someone had accidentally entered the year of release. Then I realised the year of release is 2025 so it can't be that and now I'm scared.
*Love* the Klop story (especially love that Churchill named his stationery..)
Reminds me of a time I was about to undergo the Ishihara Colourblindness Test (a routine licence requirement for seafarers) which comes in the form of a folio of images. The doctor asked her asssistant to fetch the folio: "Get me Ishihara". Some time later the assistant returned, apologising: "I'm sorry, I've tried several times but I don't seem to be able to page Dr Ishihara". Doctor: "Ah, well I'm not surprised; he retired in about 1940..."
I, on the other hand, if there is an iron gate for me to open, with openings big enough to put my hand through, will insert the key on the lock from the inside to the outside (if I’m leaving the place), and from the outside to the inside (if I’m going in) because that will save me the trouble of having to remove the key from the lock, insert it again on the other side, and lock the door. It saves me about two seconds but I just can’t help doing it. Excited for more souvenir!
Brilliant! Here though the absolute plethora of yellow cars was starting to become a bit of a distraction during conversation. So my daughter updated the version we play. Yellow car is an inside thought, but an orange car can be pointed/called out!
Just to say that I loved your JFSP 2024 Special. Really wish I could have made it to one of your try-outs. I can only imagine how much fun they must be.
And my partner and I were lucky enough to see your show in Ludlow on Thursday night. We loved, loved, loved it.
And finally, we drove to Ludlow via Shrewsbury in order to see our friend Jane, and her art exhibition. If you're still in the area, Shrewsbury, at least the little we saw of it, like Ludlow, is really lovely. Jane's show is at www.mrsjonesgallery.co.uk and the reason I mention it is that when I Google Streetview'ed it, Google showed it as still being a Dog Grooming Parlour... I don't think this one was a front, though, as Mrs Jones told me that some dogs still walk very expectantly into her gallery. I do hope they're not too disappointed.
Can I just say I've really enjoyed the 2024 release of JFSP. I have listened to it many times now. But I have a niggle. According to maths, the village has 16 adult residents (able to take part in the referendum). But by my calculation you've mention either 17 to 19 members of the village (depending on who the parent of Human Ru is; and whether Helena is classed as a resident of the village.
Hi Paul, if I may, here is some wild speculation...
Dan Gilman's Allwyn home is his second home. He has a third, a fourth and a fifth home too, although no-one in Allwyn is aware of this. Joy allows Dan to take part in some referendums- ones which might affect his property, for example- but only official, first-home residents were allowed to vote in this one.
Even though she's John's neighbour, and is allowed to buy raffle tickets in The Coach (neigh Horses, sorry, née The Coach & Horses) Vicky lives just over the village border, a short path away from John, so sadly wasn't eligible to vote.
I would suggest that Helena is not an official resident, but I'm too scared to do that... as is Joy.
Oh, and what about Carl/Karl (Mercy's weather-permitting carer)?
I would be torn between the bridge and the crossing. Sadly, since my days of frequenting comedy recordings, my physical health has deteriorated and I now walk with a stick due to chronic pain in my hips and back. The obvious solution would be to avoid the bridge as it would be a literal uphill (upbridge?) struggle, but taking my chances with the traffic and my now slow walking speed would be another minefield! However, since for me this is a hypothetical bridge and a hypothetical crossing, I will stick to sitting in my non-hypothetical chair and generally complaining.
I won't be the first to say it, but I still have to say it.
Yellow car!
Because I'm constantly, all the time, eternally, forevermore, endlessly, endlessly, unchangingly, and persistently, 'til cows come home, repeatedly, every day, permanently, all until the last syllable of recorded time, playing yellow caaaaaaaar!
I've only just recovered from the excitement of a newsletter AND a new episode of the Souvenir Programme within three days. As always, loved both. With your shows, there's always something new to discover with every listen, so they keep me happy for a long time. Speaking of which: I've been working on Cain's Jawbone for two to three months now and I am unexpectedly totally addicted to it. Thank you for introducing it to me. I hope to finish it before The Researcher's First Murder gets published. Or at least to exhaust it. It certainly exhausts me on a daily basis.
Of course, as we wait for your puzzle to ship, we all know what your next project SHOULD be: making the movie Stoppable: The Tram Story. It would be hilarious! Please!!
Hi John. Interested to hear you're appearing at the Ludlow Festival. I was in Ludlow in 2012 and took a picture of a sign for the festival which amused me. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a way to attach it here, so I'll just have to describe it. It reads: "Ludlow Festival. Much Ado About Nothing." Harsh, I thought.
Yellow car.
I had to like it as you quoted me, which I think is all part of a cunning algorithm swindle!
I looked at the page for the film Promenade. It says the duration is "2024 minutes". Naturally, I assumed it was a typo and that someone had accidentally entered the year of release. Then I realised the year of release is 2025 so it can't be that and now I'm scared.
Fog Bound In Fitton is the new Sleepless In Seattle.
*Love* the Klop story (especially love that Churchill named his stationery..)
Reminds me of a time I was about to undergo the Ishihara Colourblindness Test (a routine licence requirement for seafarers) which comes in the form of a folio of images. The doctor asked her asssistant to fetch the folio: "Get me Ishihara". Some time later the assistant returned, apologising: "I'm sorry, I've tried several times but I don't seem to be able to page Dr Ishihara". Doctor: "Ah, well I'm not surprised; he retired in about 1940..."
You're ALWAYS playing shameless comment-bait.
I, on the other hand, if there is an iron gate for me to open, with openings big enough to put my hand through, will insert the key on the lock from the inside to the outside (if I’m leaving the place), and from the outside to the inside (if I’m going in) because that will save me the trouble of having to remove the key from the lock, insert it again on the other side, and lock the door. It saves me about two seconds but I just can’t help doing it. Excited for more souvenir!
Brilliant! Here though the absolute plethora of yellow cars was starting to become a bit of a distraction during conversation. So my daughter updated the version we play. Yellow car is an inside thought, but an orange car can be pointed/called out!
What an absolute delight it is to know I'll get to listen to a whole new Souvenir Programme after work on Monday! Thank you for the future joy.
Just to say that I loved your JFSP 2024 Special. Really wish I could have made it to one of your try-outs. I can only imagine how much fun they must be.
And my partner and I were lucky enough to see your show in Ludlow on Thursday night. We loved, loved, loved it.
And finally, we drove to Ludlow via Shrewsbury in order to see our friend Jane, and her art exhibition. If you're still in the area, Shrewsbury, at least the little we saw of it, like Ludlow, is really lovely. Jane's show is at www.mrsjonesgallery.co.uk and the reason I mention it is that when I Google Streetview'ed it, Google showed it as still being a Dog Grooming Parlour... I don't think this one was a front, though, as Mrs Jones told me that some dogs still walk very expectantly into her gallery. I do hope they're not too disappointed.
Hi John.
Can I just say I've really enjoyed the 2024 release of JFSP. I have listened to it many times now. But I have a niggle. According to maths, the village has 16 adult residents (able to take part in the referendum). But by my calculation you've mention either 17 to 19 members of the village (depending on who the parent of Human Ru is; and whether Helena is classed as a resident of the village.
yes, I have a spreadsheet breakdown. Sorry.
Adult (16 residents) Others Others Note
John, the unreliable narrator
Parent of Human Ru Human Ru Recent village addition - Single mum
Joy from the Forge Member of Allwin
Lindsey - not a dog groomer at least 2 kids Resident since ~2010. Member of Allwin
Miriam Cherry Fran Caulderon
Steven Cherry - with you Suspect member of the Allwin group
Gareth - not a pub owner
Vikky - John's next door neighbour
Micheal Cope
Mercy Lake
Sonny Jim (Matthew Teale) Teagan (Lake?) Daffid Howden
Ben Lake Suspect member of the Allwin group
Jen Lake
Ammit Balmic
Danny Gilman
Siani Balmic at least 2 kids
Helena? May not be a resident of the village
Hayley Flecker Dylan flecker-taylor
Shona Taylor Alex flecker-taylor Melody
Hi Paul, if I may, here is some wild speculation...
Dan Gilman's Allwyn home is his second home. He has a third, a fourth and a fifth home too, although no-one in Allwyn is aware of this. Joy allows Dan to take part in some referendums- ones which might affect his property, for example- but only official, first-home residents were allowed to vote in this one.
Even though she's John's neighbour, and is allowed to buy raffle tickets in The Coach (neigh Horses, sorry, née The Coach & Horses) Vicky lives just over the village border, a short path away from John, so sadly wasn't eligible to vote.
I would suggest that Helena is not an official resident, but I'm too scared to do that... as is Joy.
Oh, and what about Carl/Karl (Mercy's weather-permitting carer)?
I would be torn between the bridge and the crossing. Sadly, since my days of frequenting comedy recordings, my physical health has deteriorated and I now walk with a stick due to chronic pain in my hips and back. The obvious solution would be to avoid the bridge as it would be a literal uphill (upbridge?) struggle, but taking my chances with the traffic and my now slow walking speed would be another minefield! However, since for me this is a hypothetical bridge and a hypothetical crossing, I will stick to sitting in my non-hypothetical chair and generally complaining.
'yellow! Thanks for the update! Can't wait to see the film and to tune in on the radio. (....car.)
(yellow car.)
I won't be the first to say it, but I still have to say it.
Yellow car!
Because I'm constantly, all the time, eternally, forevermore, endlessly, endlessly, unchangingly, and persistently, 'til cows come home, repeatedly, every day, permanently, all until the last syllable of recorded time, playing yellow caaaaaaaar!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-luVXyv3HY
I've only just recovered from the excitement of a newsletter AND a new episode of the Souvenir Programme within three days. As always, loved both. With your shows, there's always something new to discover with every listen, so they keep me happy for a long time. Speaking of which: I've been working on Cain's Jawbone for two to three months now and I am unexpectedly totally addicted to it. Thank you for introducing it to me. I hope to finish it before The Researcher's First Murder gets published. Or at least to exhaust it. It certainly exhausts me on a daily basis.
Of course, as we wait for your puzzle to ship, we all know what your next project SHOULD be: making the movie Stoppable: The Tram Story. It would be hilarious! Please!!
Hi John. Interested to hear you're appearing at the Ludlow Festival. I was in Ludlow in 2012 and took a picture of a sign for the festival which amused me. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a way to attach it here, so I'll just have to describe it. It reads: "Ludlow Festival. Much Ado About Nothing." Harsh, I thought.